Malleus Maleficarum!
355 – The Amorphous Heap

The class 3, also known as the amorphous heap, is a generic monster grouping for unknown entities which appear upon initial observation to be slimes, sludges, slurries, or gelatinous amalgations.  With further study, an amorphous heap can be reclassified as class 4 — morphous heap — or class 5 — mistake.

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Discussion (6) ¬

  1. Mr. Casual

    I love Percy’s “are you f-ing serious?” look in that last panel.

  2. admin

    He just cannot believe this!

  3. Bowlingballhead

    Tales From The Other Side Of Monster Research:

    Heaps, morphous or amorphous, are almost exclusively child-eating. They have a strong fondness for closets, and a plurality are made out of clothing. So few of them are evolved from children that I cannot name any examples, although perhaps my colleague has finally located one. Generally they are accretions of pure, primal fear, especially of the dark, onto physical matter.

    Hmmm. Actually, there was that one morphous heap that would eat children and then add them to itself, tortured and screaming. What a jerk that guy was. We don’t really call that ‘evolved from a child’ because the base in control is a non-child monster.

    As such, they are way off of my specialty base, maybe more than any other monster type. Mistakes, on the other hand, are much closer to my territory. They are usually child-defending, although adults tend to ignore that in the face of adult-murdering monsters. Physical transformations from children are rare, but it is common for them to be either possessed by a dead child, or created from the injustice performed on a child (the ‘Bloody Bunny’ scenario). Most commonly, Mistakes are a kind of artificial child themselves, both innocent and violent.

    Mistakes are a very broad category, and there is a raging argument in bratology that it should be divided up. Creepy dolls, patchworks both flesh and plush, aberrant mechanics/electronics, and uplifted AIs are all in the group, and more besides! Can you really classify a perfectly intact spontaneously-awakened doll in any useful way with a deliberately made synthetic human?

  4. admin

    Are you talking about the New Brunswick shambleclot? That sounds like the New Brunswick shambleclot. That’s pretty much the premiere example of a (sort of) child conglomerate, although it’s still a monster base template. The only other possible instance I know of is The Black Toad Under the Hearth of Lincoln Elementary ( Luthersburg, Minnesota, 1975) and that’s still inconclusive. That particular heap first appeared following a game of Sardines gone horribly wrong in which all the participants did disappear, but the actual make-up of the resulting heap was never fully studied.

  5. Bowlingballhead

    No, the New Brunswick shambleclot is that thing that’s kinda human shaped and made out of children. ‘Kinda’ being an operative word, here. The shambleclot is an actual conglomerate, with the children basically in charge and mostly okay with what’s going on. You’ve really never met this guy? He’s a true heap, a flattened blob covered in flailing bits.

    You’re not missing anything. He is SUCH a twit. As if eating children wasn’t enough, he spends his down time trolling on the internet with seven arms at once.

  6. admin

    I feel like I’ve probably talked to him on some forums…

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