Malleus Maleficarum!
356 – The Morphous Heap

Once you see it out of the shadows, it becomes clear that what we’re dealing with here is some sort of loose configuration of semi-melted dolls heads, similar to the Scuttling Misery of the Piddlin’ Lizzie Assembly Plant (Magdeburg, former East Germany, 1965) or the No. 45 Little Buddies Smelting Core Exit Blocker (Pittsburgh, PA, USA, 1983).

Unrelated, Beverly Cleary just turned 100 and she’s a fucking badass. Or maybe that is semi-related?

The Mouse and the Motorcycle was my favorite book as a kid. One of my favorite moments in my current job, which involves working with third graders, was this one time when I asked a classroom of kids who their greatest heroes were and one girl said Beverly Cleary. And I was all OH MY GAWD, THE MOUSE AND THE MOTORCYCLE IS AWESOME and she was all THAT’S MY FAVORITE BOOK!!!! I was surprised when I realized that The Mouse and the Motorcycle was written in 1965 because it felt so current when I first read it way back in the ancient days of 1988 and apparently kids in 2016 still feel the same way.  Unlike many of my co-workers, I was never trained to work with kids and I have no history of working with kids before this current job, so I’m not always very good at dealing with them. I mean, I like kids just fine as long as I get to send them back with their teacher at the end of the lesson and I don’t need to deal with them forever, but I’m not a natural at kid whispering or whatever you want to call it. I notice that people who are trained to work with kids have a special way of talking to them that seems to get through to them.  I find that tone very fake and stilted when I do it, so I always just end up talking to them like they’re little adults.  That doesn’t always work out well, but it’s always a thrill when you make a little connection like that.


Discussion (4) ¬

  1. Mr. Casual

    They let you near kids?? :P

    But seriously, the Mouse and the Motorcycle books were awesomesauce. Absolutely adored them. Great to hear that they’re still popular today.

    That blob of doll-heads puts me in mind of the second Child’s Play movie, where Chucky gets defeated and melted inside a doll factory, but he’s still in those parts when they reopen it years later.

  2. admin

    I’m shapin’ young minds! One thing I know about young minds from working with kids…kids fucking LOVE their video games, especially their minecraft. I had one kid ask if I knew what Undertale was once. Which was funny, cuz not even her teacher knew but I knew. One kid was absolutely obsessed with 5 Nights at Freddy’s to the point that, when I had to lead a guessing game where they were supposed to guess what different objects were, she guessed that a crochet hook was “Foxy’s hook.” And I had to tell her “Uh no Foxy’s hook would be a lot bigger. You probably wouldn’t be too scared if you saw something coming out of pirate’s cove with this thing.”

    So in short, I am the hip, cool, video game-knowing park ranger.

    Oh my god why would they reopen the factory!?!

  3. Mr. Casual

    The almighty greed of the consumer doll industry, man! Familiar themes to this arc, heh.

    That’s funny that she would think of a crochet hook as Foxy’s. I’m surprised that a young child could absorb those games, one would think they’d be terrifying for a kid. But they always do seem to go at these things younger and younger, each generation.

  4. admin

    Considering that these kids consistently mention Halo and Call of Duty as some of their favorite games, I think that a lot of parents aren’t very dutiful about monitoring what their eight year olds are playing!

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