Is incineration the best way to get rid of an incriminating corpse? Somehow, I don’t know. It seems like it would be, all things considered. But everytime you see someone do it on one of those crime scene investigation procedurals on the television, there’s always that inevitable scene where the cops are shifting through the ashes in the suspect’s suspiciously large and industrial oven/furnace/whatever and turn up a charred femur that the flames missed. If you’ve ever had a relative cremated, you may have had a similar experience when morbid curiosity finally overcame you and you peeked into that box, only to find little bits of them still there. If it’s an consolation, those bits probably weren’t actually part of your beloved uncle or grandmother. Supposedly, most crematoriums just throw ashes into urns willynilly without much regard for making sure paying customers get the ashes from the body which they originally brought in. So those bits in all likelihood belonged to some stranger. A stranger whose ghost is now haunting your mantelplace. At least, that’s what I heard on some shocking TV expose about corrupt crematorium practices. Wow, this blog entry really turned out morbid. I’d say more but I’ve been overcome by incapacitating terror as I’m forced to contemplate my own mortality.

On a lighter note, someone once told me that the best way to dispose of a corpse is to feed it to pigs, but he might have just got that idea from Deadwood.

If you read this far, share your favorite cadaver disposal techniques in the comments!